Suicide Dont’s

I opened our local Leader newspaper online today & read that a body had been found hanging from a tree by our hospital. This happens quite a bit it seems, especially around Halloween. Mistaken for a scary ornamental piece, until it’s not. So many stories…. During Ponzi scheme Madoff times, his son Mark hung himself from the rafters while his baby took a nap. Robin Williams hung himself from the doorknob of his bathroom, etc, etc, etc.

Suicide DON'TS:  

By plane, by one's own hand, by cop. Sometimes holding on is not an option for whatever reason. Illness of mind or body. I GET depression. Swimming in MUD. Wanting the agony to just STOP. Been There. 

NO ONE WHO LOVES YOU WILL EVER GET OVER: 

* Not leaving a note

* Doing it in such a way that loved ones find you

*Taking others with you. Flying a plane into a building, taking your wife

  girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or God Forbid, your kids with you. 

*Shooting up a school of other peoples kids, or work places, or clubs, or..

* THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU & no one else, so keep it that way.

MANY times as a teenager & older, I contemplated my own demise. It was always as a way to STOP the, (perceived), agony of being alive, or during premenstrual hell, hanging off the toilet while I puked, cramped & bled until I was anemic. Somehow I managed to hang on, knowing it would end in exactly 168 hours. 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 ... in just 1 more day, then 24, 23, 22 hours....  I thank God now that I hung on. Frankly, it still happens, BUT, from somewhere deep inside… ‘Did I forget my meds? Hang on for 5 more minutes. Ok another 5 minutes. Call your therapist…. 

For some, the agony will not end. It may be because of a terminal illness or an untreated mental illness. Somewhere in that internal muck however, there IS the absolute knowledge that this is NOT someone else's wish or fault & if you believe it IS, THAT person or THOSE people should get to decide whether or not they are going down YOUR path of their own emotional destruction. 

It's the ultimate personal choice, even though in the moment it doesn’t FEEL like a choice. Making that choice for someone else is MURDER & far more destructive for those left behind, even more than the taking of YOUR own life. 

When I was in high school, there was a sexy, angst ridden, self destructive teen boy who was over 18, drove an orange GTO & dated young impressionable girls. A 16 year old classmate fell in love with him & just like Jack & Diane, they made a lovelorn suicide pact. Unfortunately things didn't go as planned. When he rammed his GTO into a school wall at 60 miles per hour, he died. She, however, came away paralyzed from the waist down.

On a personal note, my grandfather, who was clinically depressed prior to most knowing what clinical depression was, committed suicide @ 50 while my mother was away serving in the RAF. My grandmother found him when she went to prepare his breakfast. There was no note, leaving them to speculate with their own story. They never got over it, which consequently affected generations of my family. The good news was that it led to a greater understanding of our familial genetic predisposition to mood disorders, including my own. The bad news was when he didn't leave a note, he literally took his own agony, along with those who loved him, to his own grave.

Suicide is illegal on most states, except when a Dr. sanctioned subscriber assists a patient to die. Or, your family is part of your personal decision & finds their own way to assist you. Insurance policies often have a caviot that if the policy holder commits suicide, the beneficiaries cannot collect for a non-accident or non-medical reason. Not only will your family mourn your death, they may well become destitute as well. 

Your suicide will ultimately be horrendous & heartbreaking for everyone. The difficult thing to do is to pick up the phone & call the crisis line, where experienced intervention specialists have heard it ALL before & will spend as much time as you need talking over your decision & other options with you. What’s another half an hour in the larger scheme of things? Call 999

Finally, this IS a pre-decision guilt trip, which may or may not affect your decision, but PLEASE, if you have any compassion at all for your loved ones, refer back to the ‘Suicide Don’ts’ as above all else, this is ultimately YOUR decision. Write a note. Say Goodbye. Tell us you love us. And for God’s Sake, call 911 & tell them where to find you before anyone else does.