Wednesday, January 25, 2017

WELCOME TO THE PRESIDENT


Many folks suffer with PTSD from traumatic experiences in their past that evolve from not feeling safe &/or abandoned: authoritarian abuse, war, rape, neglect, a bad relationship or car accident. One learns the coping mechanisms & healing needed to go on to live 'normal' lives, while also recognizing the triggers that may again bring them to their knees. We learn to recognize & avoid situations or people who are crazy makers & return to touchstones that provide equilibrium & bring strength anew. A trigger may come when someone in our lives, (whether we want them them there or not),  is in an ultimate position of power.

Which brings us directly to Donald Trump. 

Adjectives being used to raise the internal & group alarm are: scared, sad, angry, helpless, frustrated, ect. ect. & the symptoms include, anxiety, depression, panic, disorientation, & a myriad of  'go to' coping mechanisms when feeling threatened. Over two million folks gathered together around the world to peacefully express their feelings of discontent & are empowered. The individual becomes part of the tribe that refuses to be intimidated. And yet, predictably, the person who remains in a position of power ignores the obvious & can't see "what the big deal is ",  & relies on the bubble of 'alternative facts." Today, I read he wants a recount for 'voter fraud' because although he won the electoral college, he believes he also won the popular vote. Nothing less makes 'sense' to him in his own version of reality. None of it makes sense to us.

These are the decisions I have make for myself, born out of past experience with crazy makers & my current need for self preservation:
   
1) Hypervigilance is not my friend when it comes from a place of fear. Checking the news frequently to see what craziness has happened in the last five minutes does not prevent it from happening. What DOES happen are physiological panic symptoms that alert ME I am not in control of what Trump does or doesn't do. Somehow believing that if I stay alert, I can personally control the national outcome sounds silly even as I write it. 

Posting the craziness & spending too much time on social media as part of the hypervigilant cycle is a life draining combination at best. It's just another way we try making sense of the nonsense & it becomes overwhelming for everyone. Sometimes there is nothing to be done besides backing away from the phone, i-pad, laptop or whatever else that is keeping us from ourselves. Take a walk. Breathe normal breathes. Read a book. Do art. It feels good to know we can survive & thrive in the silence.
Jennifer James once said, 'If you need to read it, grieve it, or feel it, set the timer. Don't allow yourself to do anything else for that time period; sort of like a concentrated meditation. When the timer rings, go do your life.'

"People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterized by persistent grandiosity, excessive need for admiration, & a disdain & lack of empathy for others. These individuals often display arrogance, a sense of superiority, & power seeking behaviors. People with NPD typically value themselves over others to the extent that they disregard the feelings and wishes of others & expect to be treated better than others. In addition, people amp; with NPD may exhibit fragile egos, an inability to tolerate criticism, and a tendency to belittle others in an attempt to validate their own superiority." DSM-5

Sound familiar? Speak your mind, join in the protests, write letters, push for what you want as an individual or group, but know that a crazy maker & narcissist is in the White House & there is not a damn thing you can do to CHANGE HIM. Whoever put him there will have to take him out & we have no idea when or if that will happen. Set the alarm. Then go do YOUR life. 



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